So
You’re An Ed Wood Pervert?
NOW YOU CAN HAVE HIS NOTORIOUS AND RARE NOVELS FOR JUST $8 APIECE.
Each of the following 21 volumes (except MUDDLED MIND) contains two complete “novels” and they’re now available for an amazing $16 per volume. They’re all high-class trade paperbacks with beautiful and disturbing covers by Gavin L. O’Keefe. Not one word of the original texts has been deleted. We fixed obvious typographical errors but Ed’s inimitable prose style has been preserved for posterity. To order, just e-mail fender@ramblehouse.com and give me your mailing address and the list of books you want. I’ll give you the best price and shipping. I take PayPal (required for international orders) but if you pay with a check you may deduct $1 from the total.
Ed Wood nuts: you need all of these books. Save your money and get them while you can. Order 8 or more and the shipping becomes quite reasonable, about 50 cents per book (to the US). All books are $16.
MUDDLED MIND: The Complete Works of Edward D. Wood, Jr. by David
C. Hayes and Hayden Davis, PhD, 164 pages.
A collection of essays, articles and reviews of the films
and books of Ed Wood, including a few short stories by Ed. This book also has
the most complete bibliography of his varied gurgitations, as gleaned by the
estimable actor Hayes and his felonious henchman Davis.
THE DEVIL AND MRS. GRUNDY: Ed Wood’s Take on Witchcraft
and Censorship — Edward D. Wood, Jr., 262 pages.
Four books in one! This huge tome of Ed’s screwball
opinions contains A Study of Sexual Practices in Witchcraft and Black Magic, Books I and
II (1971); and A
Study in the Motivation of Censorship, Sex and the Movies, Books I and II
(1973). Never have these rants been collected so efficiently.
Both of Ed Wood’s novels about race and riots —
WOOD CHICKS: By Edward D. Wood, Jr. writing as N. V. Jason (Hell Chicks), 226 pages
Immerse yourself in two of Ed’s sleaziest novels and learn
what bare-butted biker babes do for fun and what happens when Ed lets his mind
go to the carnival to see the freaks (Side-Show Siren).
THE HORRORS OF WOOD: Maybe by Edward D. Wood, Jr. writing as Dr T.K. Peters (Black Sex), 170 pages
The Horrors of Sex is a collection of nine sordid
short stories, definitely by Ed. Black Sex is a reprint of A
Study of Black Sexual Behavior and Techniques (1970) without the grim
sex pictures. Ed Wood’s authorship is debatable.
TWO DICKS FOR DANGER by
Edward D. Wood, Jr., 230 pages.
Two of Ed’s most scintillating crime novels: Security
Risk (1967) and Parisian Passions (1966) collected
in one volume. In these books Ed really tried to stick to the spy/PI format,
but alas, his true nature oozes in. Bill Crider says, “One of my favorite
titles.” Overheard at a book show: “Sounds like one dick too many to me.”
PROFESSOR
WOOD’S SEX CRIMES by
Edward D. Wood, Jr. writing as Spenser & West, 218 pages.
They
don’t get any sleazier than Bloodiest Sex Crimes of History
(1967) and Drag Trade (1967) and they’re not even supposed to be fiction.
Ed’s research consisted of getting drunk and thumbing through his porn
collection for ideas. And it worked! You’ll never appreciate Gilles de Rais in
quite the same way again.
CARNY IN THE WOODPILE by Edward D. Wood, Jr. writing
as Kathleen Everett, 210 pages.
Two classic novels of sex and sadism under the big top: Carnival
Piece (1969) and Mary-Go-Round (1972). Ed Wood knew
his topic well and creates some of his best creepy characters. You’ll feel like
Mr. Jones after he’s stumbled into the geek pit as you muddle through these two
novels.
SHORT WOOD by Edward D. Wood under various
pseudonyms, 240 pages.
39 incredible short stories squeezed from the sleazy
magazines that had the balls to publish them. No one but Ed Wood could have had
so many bad ideas for stories and yet somehow found the gumption to write them.
It’s a testament to the invigorating powers of alcohol and amphetamine and we
are privileged to reap the bounty of his decrepitude.
PROFESSOR WOOD’S SEX MUSEUM by
Edward D. Wood Jr. 190 pages.
Ed
takes another stab at being a “sex expert” in two outrageously badly researched
books, Sex Museum and One, Two, Three, both from 1968 when
he was at his raunchiest. You’ll learn much from these books, even if
everything you learn is wrong.
WOOD ON SCREEN by Edward D. Wood Jr.
writing as David L. Westermeier, 216 pages.
It’s hard to describe what these two novels
are about without using superlatives of “nauseating”. The Sexecutives (1968)
written under the Westermeier pseudonym seems to be about the business world
but The
Only House (1972) bears Ed’s name and horrific style. Tarantino and
Rodriguez ought to make these into grindhouse films.
DEAD WOOD by Edward D. Wood Jr. 208 pages.
When the world of porn needed an expert on necrophilia,
they of course turned to Ed Wood. In The Love of the Dead and Sex
Shrouds and Caskets, both written in the drug-drenched year of 1968 you
will learn much more than you ever will want to know about the allure of rigor
mortis. But at least there are no nonconsenting victims in these sordid
“deadumentaries”.
WOOD COMES OUT by Edward D. Wood Jr.
244 pages.
Ed addresses another side of his
literary personality in these two classic novels of homosexuality gone bad. It
Takes One to Know One (1967) and Nighttime Lez (1968) will give you
the vicarious thrill of inverted sex without all the nasty lubricants and
suppurating fistulas. It’s still quite painful but what Ed Wood book isn’t?
THE CELLULITE CLOSET by
Edward D. Wood Jr. 240 pages.
Ed’s still on a gay kick in these two novels
from 1968 but this time he adds a soupçon of racism and sadism. Gay
Underworld and Young, Black and Gay were rather
easy for Ed to write since he spent so much of his life as a young, negro male
prostitute. In his dreams!
TO MAKE A PERVERT by
Edward D. Wood Jr. 158 pages.
We’ll never know
where and how Ed Wood learned so much about the vagaries of life as a flaming
fudge-packer but after reading To Make a Homo (1972) and The
Perverts (1968) you probably won’t give a damn. Just be glad that this
is the last Woodpile Press book where he tackles the puce side of life.
WOOD ON TV by Edward D. Wood Jr. 178
pages.
Finally we come to a topic that Ed was
actually a boner fide expert on: wearing girlie clothes. Diary of a Transvestite Hooker
(1973) and TV Lust (1978) are chockfull of interesting factoids about
filling bras with socks and strapping inapt genitalia into hard-to-find places
— then dodging mutant sheriffs and sadistic stevedores. It’s a tough life.
SUBURBIAN ORGY by
Edward D. Wood Jr. writing as Dr. Emil Moreau (Suburbia Confidential), 194
pages.
From the ridiculous to the ridiculously sublime, this
Woodpile double will take you to the farthest ranges of Ed Wood’s literary
powers. Orgy of the Dead (1966) may be his worst book ever, and Suburbia
Confidential is not. Orgy was made into a film and Suburbia features Ed
as Dr. Moreau, islandless, yet helpful to perverts of all persuasions.
THE ORAL WOOD by Edward D. Wood, Jr. 228 pages
Two excellent
works about a topic that Ed Wood knew intimately: oralism. The Oralists is of one
those pseudo-scientific collections of case histories and The Adult Version of Dracula
is arguably much better than Bram Stoker’s original. Ed’s authorship is once again
suspect. But we can dream, can’t we?
PENDULOUS WOOD by Edward D. Wood Jr. 170 pages.
Three novelettes from the infamous Pendulum
Press are in store for you when you tackle this Woodpile Press book. Bye
Bye Broadie, The Erotic Spy and Raped in the Grass, all from that
incredible year 1968, will leave you dehydrated and spent, even though we’ve
mercifully left out all of the highly unerotic pictures.
PENDULOUS WOOD #2 by
Edward D. Wood Jr. 162 pages.
The three stories
in this volume are probably not completely written by Ed Wood but they make an
appropriate coda to the whole Wood Project. Nazi Field Whores, Prison Passion and The
Svengali of Sex all address
the requisite sleazy subject matter — war, incarceration and hypnosis — we
expect from Ed but they lack the Woodian patina of overwrought sensationalism.
SEXUAL WOOD by
Edward D. Wood, Jr. 138 pages. Two of Ed’s better stabs at being a serious
sexologist, The Sexual Man, Book II and The Sexual Woman, Book II
are contained in this one volume. It’s full of great sex lore and probably more
than a third of it is accurate and true, which is a better ratio than most
sexologists can manage.
WOOD ON
ACID by Edward D. Wood, Jr. 204 pages. One of Ed’s
harder to find novels, Purple Thighs (aka Lost Souls
Delivered), was written in 1969 and shows what he thought of the acid
culture. And 1974’s Forced Entry, like its characters, is a
little confused about its sexuality.
Woodpile Press
228-826-1783 Akdov Telmig