Written: Motel, Page AZ, summer 1973
Knees and Diane, the singer in the band, obtained some incredible substance that they were told was THC, but probably wasn’t. It was a great rubberizer of the body and apparently stimulated the mind because Knees wrote this song in a fitful hour on the stuff one night. It’s that most rare of songs, an anti-alcohol song written to be sung in a bar.
Well I know this is a bar an everbody’s drinkin
But an ol friend of mine just set me to thinkin
That mebbe we oughta try somethin else.
So if you just settle back an listen a spell
You’re liable to hear an educatin tale
About sex, booze and ourselves.
Well I was up in Denver bout two weeks ago
Wudn’t doin nothin thought I’d take in a show
So I parked my car an started walkin
The first show I came to was just my style
Triple X rated called “Everthing’s Wild”
A whole buncha sex an not much talkin.
An on the poster I saw the name
Of a guy that I used to know
Ol Fred always said he was gonna make it big
An sure enuf he’s the star of the show.
So I paid my admission and went inside
Bought me some popcorn an a three dollar Sprite
Then I saw somethin that stopped me dead
Well remember I tole you a little while ago
About my ol friend who’s the star of the show
Well there, the projectionist was Fred.
We must have talked for an hour or two
Bout people and places like ol friends do
Relivin good an bad memories
An I wondered how Fred had sunk so far
When a few years ago he was a big porno star
So I axed him and here’s what he tole me.
Put the blame on the whiskey and wine;
They sucked the man outa me
I once had the world spread before my very eyes
But the bottle was all I could see.
So alla you people gathered in here
Guzzlin your whiskey, your wine an your beer
Remember bout my ol friend Fred
Well here was a man who had all he could handle
Till somethin took the wick right outa his candle
An that somethin, here’s what Fred said
Put the blame on the whiskey and wine
They sucked the man outa me
I once had the world spread before my very eyes
But the bottle was all I could see.
Well I know this is a bar an everbody’s drinkin
But an ol friend of mine just set me to thinkin
That mebbe we oughta try somethin else.