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Written: Alpine Street, Huntsville AL, spring 1968


Knees spent the year 1968 at Redstone Arsenal in Huntsville AL and at the time he wrote this song was living with some buddies off-base. It was loosely inspired by the Walter Jenkins affair, a Johnson-era sex scandal that—as Knees remembers it—involved gay solicitation in government restrooms with hidden cameras. Nowadays it would trigger two years of Congressional investigation. Back then it blew over quickly—except for Knees’ rap anthem commemorating the incident. It wasn’t called “rap” back then; it was called crummy one-chord crap. Still, it was popular in the bars.


Well Ah was sittin inna station

Jus a-waitin fo de bus

When a strange kinda thundah

Cum a-rumblin fum mah guts

Mah eyeballs started rollin

An mah mouf filled fulla spit

Ah knew inna flash

Dat Ah had to take a shit.


Ah hopped upon mah feet

A-lookin fo de loo

Ah saw a coupla signs

But dey was tres ambigue

One of dem said “manager”

Dat didn’t sound like me

De other one say Ladies

An dere’d be a ten-cent fee.


Ah stood dere lookin stoopid

Till de thundah cleared mah thoughts

Ah mean whut de hell’s de difference

When youse got de screamin trots?

So Ah grabbed me mah las dime

An Ah flung it in de slot

Scampered through de doorway

An took de nearest pot.


Ah hadn’t seen no ladies

Or heard no lady shreiks

So Ah was feelin kinda peaceful

Just a-restin on mah cheeks

When Ah hear de door swing open

An some highheels echo in

Dey take de stall right next to mine

Much to mah chagrin.


Ah decided Ah’d wait her out

After a coupla false starts

Ah leaned back on de crapper

An ripped offa coupla farts

Man what a bummer

Ah thought pissed off complete

When Ah feels dis weird scrabblin

On de toppa mah feet.


Ah kinda leaned forward

To get a better view

When Ah saw dis chick’s toes

A-diddlin wif mah shoe

Den Ah started wondrin

Jus whut she thinks Ah am

Wif her toes on mah ankle

A-nibblin like a clam






Ah figured whut de hell,

De chick she mus be Sapphic

Well shit Ah’ll do anything

As long’s it’s pornographic

When mah door flies open

Dere’s a man, big, obese

Badge an gun say CIA

Man say “Yo disturbin mah peace!”


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